Laws of Life from a email 060408

Oilstick Home
Law of Mechanical Repair:
  After your hands become coated with grease your nose will begin to
  itch or you'll have to pee.
  Law of the Workshop:
  Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
  Law of probability:
  The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the
  stupidity of the act.
 Law of the Telephone:
  When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.

  Law of the Alibi:
  If you tell the boss a flat tire made you late for work,
  the very next morning you will have a flat tire.
  Variation Law:
  If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in
  will start to move faster than the one you are in now. (works
  every time)
  Bath Theorem:
  When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

   Law of Close Encounters:
  The probability of meeting someone you know increases
  when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
  Law of the Result:
  When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it
  Law of Biomechanics:
  The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
  Theater Rule:
  At any event, people with seats furthest from the aisle, arrive
  Law of Coffee:
  As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask
  you to do something that lasts until the coffee is cold.
  Murphy's Law of Lockers:
  If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have
  adjacent lockers.  This is also true of post office boxes.
  Law of Location:
  Wherever you go, There you are!
  Law of Logical Argument:
  Anything is possible if you don't know what you're talking about.
  Brown's Law:
  If the shoe fits, it's ugly.
  Oliver's Law:
  A closed mouth gathers no feet.
  Wilson's Law:
  As soon as you find a product you really like, they will stop
  making it.